Everything Will Come Into Place
by psychemenace
Summary: Heath feels drawn to his friend Kyousuke. For someone who was raised in a very conservative family, this will cause problems. Kyousuke understands that's why he never tried confessing, even though he knew Heath feels the same way as him. Will Kyousuke finally have the courage to wear his heart on his sleeves upon knowing about his friend's impending engagement?
1. What are you thinking?

**A/N:** Just a warm up for draceempressa's headcanon that I'm going to write.

 **What are you thinking?**

* * *

It never was easy for Kuga to open up about his feelings to others. He had always kept them bottled up inside himself. Heath always noticed this about him and as his friend, and because he was curious all the time about Kuga's thoughts, he would often ask him: 'What are you thinking?' whenever they were alone and silence pass between them.

It was difficult to ask Kuga about such an intimate question but the interest always got the better of him. He'd like to think that it was because he just wanted to know what's going on in his friend's mind. But really, he was afraid of the silence, nervous that if he kept quiet, Kuga will know how much his heart was beating frantically inside his chest. He was afraid Kuga will know about his feelings towards him that even he wasn't entirely sure of.

Heath was conflicted with the way Kuga gives him butterflies that a woman should be giving him. He had noticed this from the very first time they were acquainted with each other. Just looking at him made him feel flustered. Perhaps it was love at first sight. But for a boy who was raised to look only at women, to act in a manner befitting of a man, and all the things that came with such, it was difficult for him to accept that he was in love with his friend.

It was not that hard for Kyousuke to figure out about Heath's feelings though. It was obvious, in the way he uttered his name, in the way he would sometimes steal glances at him even in his demeanour when Tomoe goes home before them, leaving them by themselves.

"What are you thinking?" That was always Heath's ice breaker, his attempt to hide his feelings towards him when they were alone. Kyousuke would only look over to him, his face ineffable and he would respond, "nothing" breaking the possibility of further conversation. But Heath always manages to salvage things and that's what Kuga liked about him, his ability to speak whatever was on his mind, his skill to make people comfortable and feel at ease.

"Heath." He actually liked saying his name. Especially when Heath's asleep and he thinks he can call him by his first name without any reservations. That always put a smile on his stoic face. And before he knew it, what was once a friendly affection became something a whole lot like romantic love. The feeling was drowning him, it was smothering him, and sometimes he didn't know what to do.

Both never talked about how they felt for each other. They never opened up about how much they longed for each other. And even when they finally separated ways, Kuga could say nothing to him. But as always Heath asks:

"What are you thinking?"

"What are you thinking?"

Those words always echoed. For Kuga, it always reverberated within him and sometimes he felt like answering it with:

"You."

. . I am thinking of you.


	2. Why?

**A/N** : I decided to cut Everything Will Come Into Place into parts because I won't be able to move on with my life if I made a full-length version.

 **Why?**

* * *

Wearing his well polished, newly bought suit, Heath sat alone in a nice cozy little cafe fiddling with his phone. Playful, retro sounding Indie songs wafted in the air, fit for the tranquil and melancholic ambiance he wanted to bask in. It was the perfect enviroment to contemplate about things, it was perfect to finally come to the decision of whether or not he would push through with what his parents were planning. He just met his future wife earlier that was nothing that he could complain about his fiancé. She was a sweet petite girl. An only daughter of a polician, she was pampered, well breed and elegant. She was a true lady. But Heath didn't feel anything towards her. Even when the girl made an effort to emphasize her assets (she had lovely pearlescent brown eyes fringed with thick matted lashes) Heath could only barely spare her a glance. But he tried being polite about it.

The reason why he was acting like this was because he wasn't informed about the meeting. Her sister only dragged him out, made him wear a fancy suit and left him with the Lady. It was awkward. The whole time, he couldn't stop thinking about Kuga. He always thinks of him whenever he thinks of settling down. It was odd. But over the years, he never had any desire but to be with him. He had gone out with several women, but none of them could give him the butterflies Kuga gives him. It was upsetting, but the more he thinks about it, the clearer it becomes to him that he cannot be with anyone else.

It has been a long time since they saw each other after graduation. They've drifted apart due to the length of time that they spent without any form of communication. Yet, even if this was the case, Heath never stopped thinking about him. He has his number saved on his phone, but he refuses to contact him. The reason was, he didn't know what to say to him, he didn't know how to make conversation. In the past, no matter how spontaneous or natural it may seem, his efforts of trying to talk to him outside the club (even if they've been together for a long time already) was merely clumsily spewing words out of his mouth just to communicate, just for Kuga to continue speaking. Heath liked his voice. He liked how its sonorous sound calms him down.

Now that everything that had happened reminded him of his friend, he was hesitant. He wasn't sure whether he should go along with the marriage. But what would loving a man like himself do for him? Such a thing was taboo. If his parents knew about this, they would surely be furious. They would surely be disappointed with him. He sighed and went into his contacts. He typed Kuga's name on the search box then clicked enter. The loading logo rolled as his phone processed his query. Anxious, his fingers trembled as he waited for Kuga's name to appear. When he finally read his name, he went cold and felt butterflies in his stomach like some 12 year old teenage girl.

He got flustered and itched to send him a message. Yet, he couldn't bring himself to. He sighed and slumped on the chair. Anxious, he scintillated between sitting laxly, and sitting up straight. Unable to ward off the queasiness he was feeling, he sipped on his macchiatto instead. He thought of what to do. He decided to try a few dates with the girl. If it works out well, then he would go on with the engagement. If it doesn't, then he would back out, just like that. After all, this was still the "getting to know each other" phase, there was no need to rush.

Knowing that his parents kept a list of candidates of brides, he didn't really think making good with the girl was paramount. But she was a princess, and that in of itself will complicate things if he doesn't at least try to pretend he likes her. Conveniently, this arrangement would keep other girls from getting near him. On the flip-side, it would cause him trouble, but at least he can evade his parents's anger for the time being.

After thinking about it too much, he sighed. Just like always, his thoughts wander to Kuga. They've separated since he went abroad for college. The last time they saw each other was at their graduation, when he was supposed to tell him his feelings. But rather than confess, the only thing he was able to muster were the words: "What are you thinking?" and that was it. He constantly thinks it was for the best since a confession would probably result to a lot of problems he wasn't sure he was ready to take. Sometimes though, he regrets not being able to say what he really meant to say. This is often, especially when he just randomly thinks of him out of nowhere, or something reminds him of Kuga. It brings up memories, good ones that doesn't cease to make his heart flutter. It was painful thinking about what they could've been. But he was afraid. Fear weighed him down, tied his tongue, and made him unable to wear his heart on his sleeves the fateful day in March, when all seemed perfect for that confession he painstakingly practiced over and over again the week before graduation. And now that he was confronted with this decision he has to make, a very important one at that, he couldn't help but think about the past and ask himself, "Why?".


End file.
